I almost didn’t click on the link.
I’m not a fan of the phrase “guilty pleasures.” It implies that there is something inherently wrong with what you’re doing. And we usually use the phrase “guilty pleasure” to describe something innocuous — like eating chocolate cake or binge watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. But there is nothing wrong with eating chocolate cake or or watching The Real Housewives of (pick your favorite city here).
We also seem to use the phrase “guilty pleasure” to describe something we like but fear others may not like or worse, ridicule us for liking it. Listening to Olivia Newton-John is not a “guilty pleasure” of mine. I like Olivia Newton-John. I had the album of her Greatest Hits Vol. 2 growing up and listened to it endlessly. You don’t have to like Olivia Newton-John. But that doesn’t mean my liking it is something I have to do in secret or feel guilty about. Ask me to put on headphones if you must, but just because we like different things doesn’t mean one is better than another.
But it makes me happy. It brings me joy. Isn’t that what matters?
Now, apparently, there is research to prove it.
The link I almost didn’t click on read “Study: How Guilty Pleasures Can Make Us Feel Connected.” But it was a research study from my hometown University at Buffalo which made me curious. Also, procrastination is one of the mother’s of discovery.
The actual thesis of the study is that there are many ways to feel socially connected and that includes things we typically define as “guilty pleasures.”
“I don’t think people realize that these non-traditional connections are as beneficial as we found in our research. Don’t feel guilty, because we found that these strategies are fine as long as they work for you.”
Shira Gabriel, expert in social psychology
Traditional strategics of connection are things like spending time with a friend in person or group memberships.
Non-traditional strategies including listening to a favorite musician, getting lost in a book, or cooking your favorite comfort food.
The research suggests one is not better than another and that having a variety of things to make you feel connected could be beneficial.
That’s good news to me. I like people. I love being around people, talking and connecting with them. But I draw my energy, I regroup and recharge, when I’m alone and quiet. I actually feel connected to the greater world after I’ve gone for a solo run in the morning or walked by myself in the woods.
I’ve abolished the term “guilty pleasure” from my lexicon because it just doesn’t fit me. One of the life lessons I keep learning is that I don’t need to justify myself. Surely there are consequences I would need to face if all I did was eat junk food at will and if I ignored my entire family while binge watching Downton Abbey. But if I like something. If it brings me joy and a feeling of connection, well, that’s something to lean into when I need some comfort. And these days, I need a little more comfort than usual.
What are those “guilty pleasures” which you can reframe to merely “things that bring me joy?”
