The depth and breadth of friendships

I met Mary through a guy I was dating. About a year ago, I sent Mary an email to say that said guy had decided he no longer wanted to be my boyfriend. And so comes the awkward part of a breakup when you don’t know exactly what to do with the people you met through the other person. I sent out emails explaining the dissolution of the relationship and explained there would be no hard feelings on my part if these newer friendships also faded away. This is part of the inherent risk associated with being human.

Mary wrote back to me immediately. I won’t tell her story (it is her story to tell, not mine) but she also was going through the breakup of a relationship much to my surprise. While we had been friends over the previous two years, we weren’t necessarily extraordinarily close. But that was all about to change.

As we both went through the emotional process of dealing with a breakup, we leaned on each other. We shared our wisdom, our fears and our questions. We shared our strength and our vulnerabilities. And rather quickly it wasn’t just that Mary was still my friend. Mary had become one of the best friends I’ve ever had.

As we both battled through the emotional ups and downs of 2012, our friendship grew. We spontaneously took a road trip to Vermont and sang Whitney Houston’s greatest hits for the majority of the drive. We had outdoor adventures. We tackled open water swimming when open water swimming was probably not advised. We raced together. We ate pancakes together. And mostly we’ve laughed together. A lot.

I’ve heard it said that you attract the people who enter your life for a reason. Mary reminds me of the depth and breadth of life. That there is humor in most moments. That you can still go forward with your whole heart no matter how many times it may have been mended. Hearts are more resilient than we give them credit for, you see.

Mary reminds me that friendship, yes even true friendship, is a mere text message away. Her friendship is a testament to the universal truth that sometimes the most wonderful things are born from shitty circumstances.

She is beautiful and strong and funny and an amazing example to her daughter. She’s also an amazing example to me. And a fantastic partner in crime. I’m blessed to have her as a friend.

Happy Birthday, Mary.

We made it through 2012. And I have a feeling 2013 is going to be our year.

Happy Birthday Mary!

Happy Birthday Mary!

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