One month from today I will be in Miami, running my heart out at the half marathon. It will mark the first significant race of 2010 and a chance to set the tone for another year, not just of racing, but of living and growing and settling into my own unique brand of authenticity.
In the time-honored tradition of New Year’s Eve here are my resolutions for 2010:
1. Let go of perfectionism. Ah, to be perfect. It is an illusion. And yet, it holds so many of us back. Sometimes perfection rears its head as resistance — why get in the game (whatever game that may be) if you can’t do it perfectly? And here’s the thing about perfection — the definition is always changing. Reach one level you’ve set up for yourself and another remains just out of reach. This feeds amazingly well into cycles of guilt and unworthiness which serve no purpose other than to keep you stuck, sulking and on the couch watching another marathon of Law and Order. (I may be speaking from personal experience here.)
I vow to start my quest to end my quest for perfectionism by celebrating the things I do well every day. Not just things I did “perfectly” but things that worked out just fine, that made me embrace some feeling of good, wether that be joy, pride, accomplishment or a sense of community. Because really, we do our best work when we feel happy and the less time I spend wallowing in the muck the more time I will get to spend doing what it is I love and brings me joy.
2. Trust myself. Sometimes this is called listening to your instincts or going with your gut. To me, trust is paramount for the upcoming year. Trust can be a tricky topic. We’re given many a morality tale about people who trust too easily only to end up getting hurt. And how many of our own personal stories do we focus on our own “blind trust” as self flagellation for disappointments? But trusting myself is part of celebrating my own authenticity — of living my life. In racing, I need to not just trust my plan, but trust my fitness and trust my training. I need to trust my instincts, trust that above all else, I know what’s best for me, even when the path seems unclear or choices seem difficult.
A tweet from Gail Lynn Goodwin of Inspire Me Today hangs on my bulletin board as a reminder of my notion of trust: We can’t allow our definition of what’s possible be based on how big someone else can dream. Our dream is ours and ours alone.
3. Do my happy dance every day. Yes. For real. I will do my happy dance every day. Why? Because it makes me smile. Because it’s about celebrating what I want to do, what I want to have happen before it does. Action flows from your thoughts and feelings and the more I play around with this idea, the more it seems to be incredibly true and incredibly powerful. So yes, that will be me, doing my happy dance at the starting line of the Miami half marathon in 30 days.
Why? Because I made it to the starting line.
And while we all look to the outcome, to the finish line, it’s getting to that starting line, that new beginning, that matters most.
Coming tomorrow, New Year’s Day, my big announcement of Races 2010. Stay tuned.