The Journey, Training No comments yet

The real value in doing my best

By on May 18th, 2012

The link intrigued me — “9 Steps to Reach Any Goal.” I’m always interested in what others have to say about goal setting and creating a life you love. So I clicked on it. But the more I read, the more agitated I became, because I wasn’t sure I agreed with the steps, at least not in the ways in which they were presented. Take the step “reach high” which included this quote from the interviewed expert: “The admonition ‘Do your best’ is a recipe for mediocrity.”

Whoa. Wait a minute. While I find setting specific outcomes helpful in planning and focusing on your goals, equating doing ones best with mediocrity doesn’t jive with me. Then again, this is what I get for reading the website of a “fitness” magazine which also promotes itself with teasers to get your bikini beach body in four weeks. Somewhere I heard a media and sports scholar describe women’s fitness magazines as beauty and fashion magazines in disguise. But that’s a topic for another day.

See, I believe there are many different ways to set and reach goals. What matters is, well, what matters to you. There’s a balancing act between not selling yourself short and setting up unrealistic expectations which crush your spirit. You can expect more from yourself and dream big. You can be ambiguous and specific simultaneously. A contradiction? The world thrives on contradiction.

Need an example? Here’s one from my training for the Sehgahundea Trail Marathon next weekend. I remind myself why it is I am doing this trail marathon, my first off-road distance experience. Why is this important to me? And so I start listing reasons:

  • This is an opportunity to do something completely different.
  • This is a challenge and something that is hard for me.
  • I enjoy pushing the edges of my comfort zone.
  • I love being in the woods.
  • Doing this race, I’ll be completely on my own which is scary but also a sign of strength and courage.

As I begin to list my reasons for doing the trail marathon, I find ways in which this event connects with some of my values — those qualities of life which are most important to me. Among my values are authenticity (being my unique self), adventure and joy. I have a value of respect for nature and have always been drawn to the power of solitude (for short periods of time). Now, actual training for my trail marathon has involved lots of specific work. This has included, but is not limited to:

  • Long runs to build endurance.
  • Track workouts to work on speed.
  • Tempo runs to push myself slightly out of my comfort zone over longer distances.
  • Strength work, especially on my core.
  • Good nutrition and hydration planning both for the actual race and in everyday life to support my training and desire for a healthy lifestyle.

Numbers (in the wellness biz known as “metrics”) play into these steps. There’s pace, distance and calories and a lot of other measurements that can be thrown in the mix. But for me, they’re not my goals. They’re steps which will help me get to and enjoy my actual goals. And my actual goals are doing things which express my deepest values. Remember my new favorite motto? Dare to Suck. See, in all likelihood I will be one of the last finishers of this marathon. But I’m not in it to win it. Not in the traditional sense of winning (which of course, means first place). My win will be participating in something adventurous and challenging. It will be doing something off road, metaphorically off the beaten path. And if I show up and do my best, well, that’s a pretty darn good goal to achieve. Because too often we sell ourselves short on what “doing my best” really is. What does your best really look like? It doesn’t have to be fast or strong or brilliant, at least in the conventional way. Your best is really quite unique and amazing, and something the rest of the world is eagerly waiting to see.

Swimming No comments yet

Circle swimming

By on May 16th, 2012

Three of us were standing on the pool deck, waiting to maneuver into one of the three lanes opened to lap swimmers. The lifeguard in charge came over and asked if we were willing to circle swim. The young woman in line ahead of me seemed agitated. “How are we supposed to circle swim with them?” she asked pointedly, referring to the designated “circle swim” lane in which an older woman and an older man were lazily doing makeshift laps. They weren’t walking but they weren’t exactly swimming 100 yard repeats either. “Oh, I can get any lane to circle,” the lifeguard said. And so he went over to Lane No. 2 and asked the two lap swimmers to circle. One of the swimmers had a clear, unhappy facial reaction when asked to circle. I could practically see her roll her eyes under her goggles.

For the uninitiated in the world of circle swimming here is how it works: Everyone swims down the right side of the lane and then returns on the left side. You attempt to space yourselves out so you don’t bump into each other. But bump into each other you will. And so you pass swimmers who are slower and back off to let the faster swimmers pass you. I’m sure there are more specific etiquette rules, but really it’s not that complicated.

Circle swimming used to scare me. It still does a bit, but I’ve learned to do it with a smile and some perspective. If you’re training for something very elite, well then, you probably wouldn’t be doing laps at 9:47 a.m. in a suburban Western New York YMCA pool. Let’s be honest. While I want to improve my swimming and hit my target training times, coming to the Y pool is about more than just swim times. It’s about changing your perspective.

Those old folks we were semi-swimming in Lane 3? I got to circle with them. The guy got out shortly after I hopped in, but the woman and I kept the circle swim going for quite some time on our own. (General rule: Do not change the dynamics of the lane without telling everyone else in the lane. This causes collisions. I know. Been there.) I lapped her several times, but easily passed, even as I did my 75-yard timed sprints. I was cautions not to knock into her, but we both just kept doing our thing.

During one of my rest intervals, she said to me, “You do that very well.” She was referring to my swimming. “Well, I try,” I replied. I love the seniors at the Y who compliment my swimming which really isn’t all that great. (Best quote from my friend Hitch: You swim really well for someone with inefficient form.) And while I’d love to have a lane all to myself, I appreciate that they’re in the pool, doing the best they can. My workout is no more worthy than theirs. “I used to swim like that,” the woman in my lane told me. “Now I just do this.” She did some combination of freestyle and breaststroke without putting her face in the water. I smiled. She didn’t hamper my workout. In fact, she enhanced it. We’re all out there, doing the best we can. Another person’s time in the pool, whether slower or faster, affects me only if I let it. And if other other people are bothered by me, well, that’s their choice. I’ll just keep swimming.

The Journey 2 comments

Dare to Suck

By on May 15th, 2012

It is not the most elegant phrase in the English language yet, “I suck” or any variation thereof tends to be used quite a bit, especially by me. Sometimes it comes out loud and sometimes it’s only spoken in my head. Other times it goes out via text message to my benevolent group of friends who have infinite patience when it comes to my temporary insanity. Those moments of frustration and doubt come along and I’ve learned different ways in which to address them so that I can move on and embrace my awesomeness instead.

Then I ran across a posting from the website Writer Unboxed. The post was called “Dare to Suck.” And immediately I was intrigued. The post was for writers overcoming obstacles to getting their work done. It reminded me of Anne Lamott’s “shitty first drafts” as described in Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. (One of my all time favorite books.) The first notion is to get rid of this idea of perfection. Whatever task, project, dream you’re working on doesn’t have to brilliant. Especially on the first try. The important thing is to show up.

But there’s another aspect of this concept of daring to suck. How often do we avoid doing something because we think we won’t be good at it? Who defines what “good” is? Anyone can do the things he or she is great at. It takes some courage to step outside your comfort zone, forget about results, and fly (if for a moment) by the seat of your pants. With the lightness of spring and the fullness of summer approaching, it’s the perfect time to think about what you might dare to suck at this season.